

Jake, wait  I reached after him, my hand sliding down his arm.

He jerked his arm away before my fingers could find purchase.

Please, Jake? Wont you stay?

No.

The word was hard and cold. I knew my face gave away my pain, because he exhaled and half a smile softened his expression.

Dont worry about me, Bells. Ill be fine, just like I always am. He forced a laugh. Sides, you think Im going to let Seth go in my place  have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right. He snorted.

Be careful 

He shoved out of the tent before I could finish.

Give it a rest, Bella, I heard him mutter as he re-zipped the door.

I listened for the sound of his retreating footsteps, but it was perfectly still. No more wind. I could hear morning birdsong far away on the mountain, and nothing else. Jacob moved in silence now.

I huddled in my coats, and leaned against Edwards shoulder. We were quiet for a long time.

How much longer? I asked.

Alice told Sam it should be an hour or so, Edward said, soft and bleak.

We stay together. No matter what.

No matter what, he agreed, his eyes tight.

I know, I said. Im terrified for them, too.

They know how to handle themselves, Edward assured me, purposely making his voice light. I just hate missing the fun.

Again with thefun. My nostrils flared.

He put his arm around my shoulder. Dont worry, he urged, and then he kissed my forehead.

As if there was any way to avoid that. Sure, sure.

Do you want me to distract you? He breathed, running his cold fingers along my cheekbone.

I shivered involuntarily; the morning was still frosty.

Maybe not right now, he answered himself, pulling his hand away.

There are other ways to distract me.

What would you like?

You could tell me about your ten best nights, I suggested. Im curious.

He laughed. Try to guess.

I shook my head. Therere too many nights I dont know about. A century of them.

Ill narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you.

Really?

Yes, really  and by quite a wide margin, too.

I thought for a minute. I can only think of mine, I admitted.

They might be the same, he encouraged.

Well, there was the first night. The night you stayed.

Yes, thats one of mine, too. Of course, you were unconscious for my favorite part.

Thats right, I remembered. I was talking that night, too.

Yes, he agreed.

My face got hot as I wondered again what I might have said while sleeping in Jacobs arms. I couldnt remember what Id dreamed about, or if Id dreamed at all, so that was no help.

What did I say last night? I whispered more quietly than before.

He shrugged instead of answering, and I winced.

That bad?

Nothing too horrible, he sighed.

Please tell me.

Mostly you said my name, the same as usual.

Thats not bad, I agreed cautiously.

Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about Jacob, my Jacob. I could hear the pain, even in the whisper. Your Jacob enjoyedthat quite a lot.

I stretched my neck up, straining to reach my lips to the edge of his jaw. I couldnt see into his eyes. He was staring up at the ceiling of the tent.

Sorry, I murmured. Thats just the way I differentiate.

Differentiate?

Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the hell out of me, I explained.

That makes sense. He sounded slightly mollified. Tell me another favorite night.

Flying home from Italy.

He frowned.

Is that not one of yours? I wondered.

No, itis one of mine, actually, but Im surprised its on your list. Werent you under the ludicrous impression I was just acting from a guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doors opened?

Yes. I smiled. But, still, you were there.

He kissed my hair. You love me more than I deserve.

I laughed at the impossibility of that idea. Next would be the night after Italy, I continued.

Yes, thats on the list. You were so funny.

Funny? I objected.

I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were awake.

Im still not sure, I muttered. Youve always seemed more like a dream than reality. Tell me one of yours, now. Did I guess your first place?

No  that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me.

I made a face.

That doesnt make your list?

I thought about the way hed kissed me, the concession Id gained, and changed my mind. Yes . . . it does. But with reservations. I dont understand why its so important to you. You already had me forever.

A hundred years from now, when youve gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, I will explain it to you.

Ill remind you to explain  in a hundred years.

Are you warm enough? he asked suddenly.

Im fine, I assured him. Why?

Before he could answer, the silence outside the tent was ripped apart by an earsplitting howl of pain. The sound ricocheted off the bare rock face of the mountain and filled the air so that it seared from every direction.

The howl tore through my mind like a tornado, both strange and familiar. Strange because Id never heard such a tortured cry before. Familiar because I knew the voice at once  I recognized the sound and understood the meaning as perfectly as if Id uttered it myself. It made no difference that Jacob was not human when he cried out. I needed no translation.

Jacob was close. Jacob had heard every word wed said. Jacob was in agony.

The howl choked off into a peculiar gurgled sob, and then it was quiet again.

I did not hear his silent escape, but I could feel it  I could feel the absence I had wrongly assumed before, the empty space he left behind.

Because your space heater has reached his limit, Edward answered quietly. Truce over, he added, so low I couldnt be sure that was really what hed said.

Jacob was listening, I whispered. It wasnt a question.

Yes.

You knew.

Yes.

I stared at nothing, seeing nothing.

I never promised to fight fair, he reminded me quietly. And he deserves to know.

My head fell into my hands.

Are you angry with me? he asked.

Not you, I whispered. Im horrified atme. 

Dont torment yourself, he pleaded.

Yes, I agreed bitterly. I should save my energy to torment Jacob some more. I wouldnt want to leave any part of him unharmed.

He knew what he was doing.

Do you think that matters? I was blinking back tears, and this was easy to hear in my voice. Do you think I care whether its fair or whether he was adequately warned? Imhurting him. Every time I turn around, Im hurting him again. My voice was getting louder, more hysterical. Im a hideous person.

He wrapped his arms tightly around me. No, youre not.

I am! Whats wrong with me? I struggled against his arms, and he let them drop. I have to go find him.

Bella, hes already miles away, and its cold.

I dont care. I cant justsit here. I shrugged off Jacobs parka, shoved my feet into my boots, and crawled stiffly to the door; my legs felt numb. I have to  I have to . . . I didnt know how to finish the sentence, didnt know what there was to do, but I unzipped the door anyway, and climbed out into the bright, icy morning.

There was less snow than I would have thought after the fury of last nights storm. Probably it had blown away rather than melted in the sun that now shone low in the southeast, glancing off the snow that lingered and stabbing at my unadjusted eyes. The air still had a bite to it, but it was dead calm and slowly becoming more seasonable as the sun rose higher.

Seth Clearwater was curled up on a patch of dry pine needles in the shadow of a thick spruce, his head on his paws. His sand-colored fur was almost invisible against the dead needles, but I could see the bright snow reflect off his open eyes. He was staring at me with what I imagined was an accusation.

I knew Edwa