be interested in, afterward, is slaughtering everyone in town, I confessed, while he winced at my choice of words. And Im afraid Ill be so preoccupied with the mayhem that I wont beme anymore . . . and that I wont . . . I wontwant you the same way I do now.

Bella, that part doesnt last forever, he assured me.

He was missing the point.

Edward, I said, nervous, staring at a freckle on my wrist. Theres something that I want to do before Im not human anymore.

He waited for me to continue. I didnt. My face was all hot.

Whatever you want, he encouraged, anxious and completely clueless.

Do you promise? I muttered, knowing my attempt to trap him with his words was not going to work, but unable to resist.

Yes, he said. I looked up to see that his eyes were earnest and confused. Tell me what you want, and you can have it.

I couldnt believe how awkward and idiotic I felt. I was too innocent  which was, of course, central to the discussion. I didnt have the faintest idea how to be seductive. I would just have to settle for flushed and self-conscious.

You, I mumbled almost incoherently.

Im yours. He smiled, still oblivious, trying to hold my gaze as I looked away again.

I took a deep breath and shifted forward so that I was kneeling on the bed. Then I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

He kissed me back, bewildered but willing. His lips were gentle against mine, and I could tell his mind was elsewhere  trying to figure out what was onmy mind. I decided he needed a hint.

My hands were slightly shaky as I unlocked my arms from around his neck. My fingers slid down his neck to the collar of his shirt. The trembling didnt help as I tried to hurry to undo the buttons before he stopped me.

His lips froze, and I could almost hear the click in his head as he put together my words and my actions.

He pushed me away at once, his face heavily disapproving.

Be reasonable, Bella.

You promised  whatever I wanted, I reminded him without hope.

Were not having this discussion. He glared at me while he refastened the two buttons Id managed to open.

My teeth clamped together.

I say we are, I growled. I moved my hands to my blouse and yanked open the top button.

He grabbed my wrists and pinned them to my sides.

I say were not, he said flatly.

We glowered at each other.

You wanted to know, I pointed out.

I thought it would be something faintly realistic.

So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thingyou want  like gettingmarried  butIm not allowed to evendiscuss what I 

While I was ranting, he pulled my hands together to restrain them in just one of his, and put his other hand over my mouth.

No. His face was hard.

I took a deep breath to steady myself. And, as the anger began to fade, I felt something else.

It took me a minute to recognize why I was staring down again, the blush returning  why my stomach felt uneasy, why there was too much moisture in my eyes, why I suddenly wanted to run from the room.

Rejection washed through me, instinctive and strong.

I knew it was irrational. Hed been very clear on other occasions that my safety was the only factor. Yet Id never made myself quite so vulnerable before. I scowled at the golden comforter that matched his eyes and tried to banish the reflex reaction that told me I was unwanted and unwantable.

Edward sighed. The hand over my mouth moved under my chin, and he pulled my face up until I had to look at him.

What now?

Nothing, I mumbled.

He scrutinized my face for long moment while I tried unsuccessfully to twist away from his gaze. His brow furrowed, and his expression became horrified.

Did I hurt your feelings? he asked, shocked.

No, I lied.

So quickly that I wasnt even sure how it happened, I was in his arms, my face cradled between his shoulder and his hand, while his thumb stroked reassuringly against my cheek.

You know why I have to say no, he murmured. You know that I want you, too.

Do you? I whispered, my voice full of doubt.

Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl. He laughed once, and then his voice was bleak. Doesnt everyone? I feel like theres a line behind me, jockeying for position, waiting for me to make a big enough mistake. . . . Youre too desirable for your own good.

Whos being silly now? I doubted if awkward, self-conscious, and inept added up todesirable in anyones book.

Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose names would be on the top of the list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you.

I shook my head against his chest, grimacing. Youre just trying to distract me. Lets get back to the subject.

He sighed.

Tell me if I have anything wrong. I tried to sound detached. Your demands are marriage  I couldnt say the word without making a face  paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldnt mind if my vehicle went a little faster. I raised my eyebrows. Did I get everything? Thats a hefty list.

Only the first is a demand. He seemed to be having a hard time keeping a straight face. The others are merely requests.

And my lone, solitary little demand is 

Demand? he interrupted, suddenly serious again.

Yes, demand.

His eyes narrowed.

Getting married is a stretch for me. Im not giving in unless I get something in return.

He leaned down to whisper in my ear. No, he murmured silkily. Its not possible now. Later, when youre less breakable. Be patient, Bella.

I tried to keep my voice firm and reasonable. But thats the problem. It wont be thesame when Im less breakable. I wont be the same! I dont knowwho Ill be then.

Youll still be Bella, he promised.

I frowned. If Im so far gone that Id want to kill Charlie  that Id drink Jacobs blood or Angelas if I got the chance  how can that be true?

It will pass. And I doubt youll want to drink the dogs blood. He pretended to shudder at the thought. Even as a newborn, youll have better taste than that.

I ignored his attempt to sidetrack me. But that will always be what I want most, wont it? I challenged. Blood, blood, and more blood!

The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true, he pointed out.

Over eighty years later, I reminded him. What I meant wasphysically, though. Intellectually, I know Ill be able to be myself . . . after a while. But just purely physically  I will always be thirsty, more than anything else.

He didnt answer.

So Iwill be different, I concluded unopposed. Because right now, physically, theres nothing I want more than you. More than food or water or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my priorities in a slightly more sensible order. But physically . . .

I twisted my head to kiss the palm of his hand.

He took a deep breath. I was surprised that it sounded a little unsteady.

Bella, I could kill you, he whispered.

I dont think you could.

Edwards eyes tightened. He lifted his hand from my face and reached quickly behind himself for something I couldnt see. There was a muffled snapping sound, and the bed quivered beneath us.

Something dark was in his hand; he held it up for my curious examination. It was a metal flower, one of the roses that adorned the wrought iron posts and canopy of his bed frame. His hand closed for a brief second, his fingers contracting gently, and then it opened again.

Without a word, he offered me the crushed, uneven lump of black metal. It was a cast of the inside of his hand, like a piece of play dough squeezed in a childs fist. A half-second passed, and the shape crumbled into black sand in his palm.

I glared. Thats not what I meant. I alreadyknow how strong you are. You didnt have to break the furniture.

Whatdid you mean then? he asked in a dark voice, tossing the handful of iron sand to the corner of the room; it hit the wall with a sound like rain.

His eyes were intent on my face as I struggled to explain.

Obviously not that you arent