Jacob trusts you.

Edward nodded. He trusts us not to try to kill him. Thats about it, though.

Are you participating tonight? I asked, hesitant. I knew this was going to be almost as hard for him as being left behind would have been for me. Maybe harder.

Ill help Jasper when he needs it. He wants to try some unequal groupings, teach them how to deal with multiple attackers.

He shrugged.

And a fresh wave of panic shattered my brief sense of confidence.

They were still outnumbered. I was making that worse.

I stared at the field, trying to hide my reaction.

It was the wrong place to look, struggling as I was to lie to myself, to convince myself that everything would work out as I needed it to. Because when I forced my eyes away from the Cullens  away from the image of their play fighting that would be real and deadly in just a few days  Jacob caught my eyes and smiled.

It was the same wolfy grin as before, his eyes scrunching the way they did when he was human.

It was hard to believe that, not so long ago, Id found the werewolves frightening  lost sleep to nightmares about them.

I knew, without asking, which of the others was Embry and which was Quil. Because Embry was clearly the thinner gray wolf with the dark spots on his back, who sat so patiently watching, while Quil  deep chocolate brown, lighter over his face  twitched constantly, looking like he was dying to join in the mock fight. They werent monsters, even like this. They were friends.

Friends who didnt look nearly as indestructible as Emmett and Jasper did, moving faster than cobra strikes while the moonlight glinted off their granite-hard skin. Friends who didnt seem to understand the danger involved here. Friends who were still somewhat mortal, friends who could bleed, friends who could die. . . .

Edwards confidence was reassuring, because it was plain that he wasnt truly worried about his family. But would it hurt him if something happened to the wolves? Was there any reason for him to be anxious, if that possibility didnt bother him? Edwards confidence only applied to one set of my fears.

I tried to smile back at Jacob, swallowing against the lump in my throat. I didnt seem to get it right.

Jacob sprang lightly to his feet, his agility at odds with his sheer mass, and trotted over to where Edward and I stood on the fringe of things.

Jacob, Edward greeted him politely.

Jacob ignored him, his dark eyes on me. He put his head down to my level, as he had yesterday, cocking it to one side. A low whimper escaped his muzzle.

Im fine, I answered, not needing the translation that Edward was about to give. Just worried, you know.

Jacob continued to stare at me.

He wants to know why, Edward murmured.

Jacob growled  not a threatening sound, an annoyed sound  and Edwards lips twitched.

What? I asked.

He thinks my translations leave something to be desired. What he actually thought was, Thats really stupid. What is there to be worried about? I edited, because I thought it was rude.

I halfway smiled, too anxious to really feel amused. Theres plenty to be worried about, I told Jacob. Like a bunch of really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt.

Jacob laughed his coughing bark.

Edward sighed. Jasper wants help. Youll be okay without a translator?

Ill manage.

Edward looked at me wistfully for one minute, his expression hard to understand, then turned his back and strode over to where Jasper waited.

I sat down where I was. The ground was cold and uncomfortable.

Jacob took a step forward, then looked back at me, and a low whine rose in his throat. He took another half-step.

Go on without me, I told him. I dont want to watch.

Jacob leaned his head to the side again for a moment, and then folded himself on to the ground beside me with a rumbling sigh.

Really, you can go ahead, I assured him. He didnt respond, he just put his head down on his paws.

I stared up at the bright silver clouds, not wanting to see the fight. My imagination had more than enough fuel. A breeze blew through the clearing, and I shivered.

Jacob scooted himself closer to me, pressing his warm fur against my left side.

Er, thanks, I muttered.

After a few minutes, I leaned against his wide shoulder. It was much more comfortable that way.

The clouds moved slowly across the sky, dimming and brightening as thick patches crossed the moon and passed on.

Absently, I began pulling my fingers through the fur on his neck. That same strange humming sound that hed made yesterday rumbled in his throat. It was a homey kind of sound. Rougher, wilder than a cats purr, but conveying the same sense of contentment.

You know, I never had a dog, I mused. I always wanted one, but Renes allergic.

Jacob laughed; his body shook under me.

Arent you worried about Saturday at all? I asked.

He turned his enormous head toward me, so that I could see one of his eyes roll.

I wish I could feel that positive.

He leaned his head against my leg and started humming again. And it did make me feel just a little bit better.

So weve got some hiking to do tomorrow, I guess.

He rumbled; the sound was enthusiastic.

It might be along hike, I warned him. Edward doesnt judge distances the way a normal person does.

Jacob barked another laugh.

I settled deeper into his warm fur, resting my head against his neck.

It was strange. Even though he was in this bizarre form, this felt more like the way Jake and I used to be  the easy, effortless friendship that was as natural as breathing in and out  than the last few times Id been with Jacob while he was human. Odd that I should find that again here, when Id thought this wolf thing was the cause of its loss.

The killing games continued in the clearing, and I stared at the hazy moon.




20. COMPROMISE

EVERYTHING WAS READY.

I was packed for my two-day visit with Alice, and my bag waited for me on the passenger seat of my truck. Id given the concert tickets to Angela, Ben, and Mike. Mike was going to take Jessica, which was exactly as Id hoped. Billy had borrowed Old Quil Atearas boat and invited Charlie down for some open sea fishing before the afternoon game started. Collin and Brady, the two youngest werewolves, were staying behind to protect La Push  though they were just children, both of them only thirteen. Still, Charlie would be safer than anyone left in Forks.

I had done all that I could do. I tried to accept that, and put the things that were outside of my control out of my head, for tonight at least. One way or another, this would all be over in forty-eight hours. The thought was almost comforting.

Edward had requested that I relax, and I was going to do my best.

For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me? hed pleaded, unleashing the full force of his eyes on me. It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Just you.

That was not a hard request to agree to, though I knew that forgetting my fears would be much easier said than done. Other matters were on my mind now, knowing that we had this night to be alone, and that would help.

There were some things that had changed.

For instance, I was ready.

I was ready to join his family and his world. The fear and guilt and anguish I was feeling now had taught me that much. Id had a chance to concentrate on this  as Id gazed at the moon through the clouds and rested against a werewolf  and I knew I would not panic again. The next time something came at us, I would be ready. An asset, not a liability. He would never have to make the choice between me and his family again. We would be partners, like Alice and Jasper. Next time, I would do my part.

I would wait for the sword to be removed from over my head, so that Edward would be satisfied. But it wasnt necessary. I was ready.

There was only one missing piece.

One piece, because there were some things that hadnot changed, and that included the desperate way I loved him. Id