

I felt a little high. Jaspers betting high.

It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. Hes tired of being the weakest link.

Sure. Of course it will. I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy. Why not? I was babbling, my voice a blank monotone. In my head, I was seeing newspaper headlines, lists of names. . . .

He squeezed me. You dont need to worry about it now. In fact, you dont have to worry about it ever, if you dont want to.

I groaned, and Edward, thinking it was the pain in my hand that bothered me, pulled me faster toward the house.

My handwas broken, but there wasnt any serious damage, just a tiny fissure in one knuckle. I didnt want a cast, and Carlisle said Id be fine in a brace if I promised to keep it on. I promised.

Edward could tell I was out of it as Carlisle worked to fit a brace carefully to my hand. He worried aloud a few times that I was in pain, but I assured him that that wasnt it.

As if I needed  or even had room for  one more thing to worry about.

All of Jaspers stories about newly created vampires had been percolating in my head since hed explained his past. Now those stories jumped into sharp focus with the news of his and Emmetts wager. I wondered randomly what they were betting. What was a motivating prize when you had everything?

Id always known that I would be different. I hoped that I would be as strong as Edward said I would be. Strong and fast and, most of all, beautiful. Someone who could stand next to Edward and feel like she belonged there.

Id been trying not to think too much about the other things that I would be. Wild. Bloodthirsty. Maybe I would not be able to stop myself from killing people. Strangers, people who had never harmed me. People like the growing number of victims in Seattle, whod had families and friends and futures. People whod hadlives. And I could be the monster who took that away from them.

But, in truth, I could handle that part  because I trusted Edward, trusted him absolutely, to keep me from doing anything I would regret. I knew hed take me to Antarctica and hunt penguins if I asked him to. And I would do whatever it took to be a good person. A good vampire. That thought would have made me giggle, if not for this new worry.

Because, if I really were somehow like that  like the nightmarish images of newborns that Jasper had painted in my head  could I possibly beme ? And if all I wanted was to kill people, what would happen to the things I wantednow ?

Edward was so obsessed with me not missing anything while I was human. Usually, it seemed kind of silly. There werent many human experiences that I worried about missing. As long as I got to be with Edward, what else could I ask for?

I stared at his face while he watched Carlisle fix my hand. There was nothing in this world that I wanted more than him. Would that,could that, change?

Was there a human experience that I wasnot willing to give up?




16. EPOCH

IHAVE NOTHING TO WEAR! I MOANED TO MYSELF.

Every item of clothing I owned was strewn across my bed; my drawers and closets were bare. I stared into the empty recesses, willing something suitable to appear.

My khaki skirt lay over the back of the rocking chair, waiting for me to discover something that went with it just exactly right. Something that would make me look beautiful and grown up. Something that saidspecial occasion. I was coming up empty.

It was almost time to go, and I was still wearing my favorite old sweats. Unless I could find something better here  and the odds werent looking good at this point  I was going to graduate in them.

I scowled at the pile of clothes on my bed.

The kicker was that I knew exactly what I would have worn if it were still available  my kidnapped red blouse. I punched the wall with my good hand.

Stupid, thieving, annoying vampire! I growled.

What did I do? Alice demanded.

She was leaning casually beside the open window as if shed been there the whole time.

Knock, knock, she added with a grin.

Is it really so hard to wait for me to get the door?

She threw a flat, white box onto my bed. Im just passing through. I thought you might need something to wear.

I looked at the big package lying on top of my unsatisfying wardrobe and grimaced.

Admit it, Alice said. Im a lifesaver.

Youre a lifesaver, I muttered. Thanks.

Well, its nice to get something right for a change. You dont know how irritating it is  missing things the way I have been. I feel so useless. So . . . normal. She cringed in horror of the word.

I cant imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh.

She laughed. Well, at least this makes up for missing your annoying thief  now I just have to figure out what Im not seeing in Seattle.

When she said the words that way  putting the two situations together in one sentence  right then it clicked. The elusive something that had been bothering me for days, the important connection that I couldnt quite put together, suddenly became clear. I stared at her, my face frozen with whatever expression was already in place.

Arent you going to open it? she asked. She sighed when I didnt move immediately, and tugged the top of the box off herself. She pulled something out and held it up, but I couldnt concentrate on what it was. Pretty, dont you think? I picked blue, because I know its Edwards favorite on you.

I wasnt listening.

Its the same, I whispered.

What is? she demanded. You dont have anything like this. For crying out loud, you only own one skirt!

No, Alice! Forget the clothes, listen!

You dont like it? Alices face clouded with disappointment.

Listen, Alice, dont you see? Its thesame ! The one who broke in and stole my things, and the new vampires in Seattle. Theyre together!

The clothes slipped from her fingers and fell back into the box.

Alice focused now, her voice suddenly sharp. Why do you think that?

Remember what Edward said? About someone using the holes in your vision to keep you from seeing the newborns? And then what you said before, about the timing being too perfect  how careful my thief was to make no contact, as if he knew you would see that. I think you were right, Alice, I think he did know. I think he was using those holes, too. And what are the odds thattwo different people not only know enough about you to do that, but also decided to do it at exactly the same time? No way. Its one person. The same one. The one who is making the army is the one who stole my scent.

Alice wasnt accustomed to being taking by surprise. She froze, and was still for so long that I started counting in my head as I waited. She didnt move for two minutes straight. Then her eyes refocused on me.

Youre right, she said in a hollow tone. Of course youre right. And when you put it that way. . . .

Edward had it wrong, I whispered. It was a test . . . to see if it would work. If he could get in and out safely as long as he didnt do anything you would be watching out for. Like trying to kill me. . . . And he didnt take my things to prove hed found me. He stole my scent . . . so thatothers could find me.

Her eyes were wide with shock. I was right, and I could see that she knew it, too.

Oh, no, she mouthed.

I was through expecting my emotions to make sense anymore. As I processed the fact that someone had created an army of vampires  the army that had gruesomely murdered dozens of people in Seattle  for the express purpose of destroyingme, I felt a spasm of relief.

Part of it was finally solving that irritating feeling that I was missing something vital.

But the larger part was something else entirely.

Well, I whispered, everyone can relax. Nobodys trying to exterminate the Cullens after all.

If you think that one thing has changed, youre absolutely wrong, Alice said through her teeth. If someone wants one of us, theyre going to have to go through the rest of us to get to her.

Thanks, Alice. But a