ke me belong to him in a tangible, quantifiable way.

But I knew he was going to stick to his marriage scheme like glue  because a delay was what he was clearly after and it was working so far. I tried to imagine telling my parents that I was getting married this summer. Telling Angela and Ben and Mike. I couldnt. I couldnt think of the words to say. It would be easier to tell them I was becoming a vampire. And I was sure that at least my mother  were I to tell her every detail of the truth  would be more strenuously opposed to me getting married than to me a becoming vampire. I grimaced to myself as I imagined her horrified expression.

Then, for just a second, I saw that same odd vision of Edward and me on a porch swing, wearing clothes from another kind of world. A world where it would surprise no one if I wore his ring on my finger. A simpler place, where love was defined in simpler ways. One plus one equals two. . . .

Jacob snorted and rolled to his side. His arm swung off the back of the couch and pinned me against his body.

Holy crow, but he was heavy! Andhot. It was sweltering after just a few seconds.

I tried to slide out from under his arm without waking him, but I had to shove a little bit, and when his arm fell off me, his eyes snapped open. He jumped to his feet, looking around anxiously.

What? What? he asked, disoriented.

Its just me, Jake. Sorry I woke you.

He turned to look at me, blinking and confused. Bella?

Hey, sleepy.

Oh, man! Did I fall asleep? Im sorry! How long was I out?

A few Emerils. I lost count.

He flopped back on the couch next to me. Wow. Sorry about that, really.

I patted his hair, trying to smooth the wild disarray. Dont feel bad. Im glad you got some sleep.

He yawned and stretched. Im useless these days. No wonder Billys always gone. Im so boring.

Youre fine, I assured him.

Ugh, lets go outside. I need to walk around or Ill pass out again.

Jake, go back to sleep. Im good. Ill call Edward to come pick me up. I patted my pockets as I spoke, and realized they were empty. Shoot, Ill have to borrow your phone. I think I must have left his in the car. I started to unfold myself.

No! Jacob insisted, grabbing my hand. No, stay. You hardly ever make it down. I cant believe I wasted all this time.

He pulled me off the couch as he spoke, and then led the way outside, ducking his head as he passed under the doorframe. It had gotten much cooler while Jacob slept; the air was unseasonably cold  there must be a storm on the way. It felt like February, not May.

The wintry air seemed to make Jacob more alert. He paced back and forth in front of the house for a minute, dragging me along with him.

Im an idiot, he muttered to himself.

Whats the matter, Jake? So you fell asleep. I shrugged.

I wanted to talk to you. I cant believe this.

Talk to me now, I said.

Jacob met my eyes for a second, and then looked away quickly toward the trees. It almost looked like he was blushing, but it was hard to tell with his dark skin.

I suddenly remembered what Edward had said when he dropped me off  that Jacob would tell me whatever he was shouting in his head. I started gnawing on my lip.

Look, Jacob said. I was planning to do this a little bit differently. He laughed, and it sounded like he was laughing at himself. Smoother, he added. I was going to work up to it, but  and he looked at the clouds, dimmer as the afternoon progressed  Im out of time to work.

He laughed again, nervous. We were still pacing slowly.

What are you talking about? I demanded.

He took a deep breath. I want to tell you something. And you already know it . . . but I think I should say it out loud anyway. Just so theres never any confusion on the subject.

I planted my feet, and he came to a stop. I took my hand away and folded my arms across my chest. I was suddenly sure that I didnt want to know what he was building up to.

Jacobs eyebrows pulled down, throwing his deep-set eyes into shadow. They were pitch black as they bored into mine.

Im in love with you, Bella, Jacob said in a strong, sure voice. Bella, I love you. And I want you to pick me instead of him. I know you dont feel that way, but I need the truth out there so that you know your options. I wouldnt want a miscommunication to stand in our way.



15. WAGER

ISTARED AT HIM FOR A LONG MINUTE, SPEECHLESS. I could not think of one thing to say to him.

As he watched my dumbfounded expression, the seriousness left his face.

Okay, he said, grinning. Thats all.

Jake  It felt like there was something big sticking in my throat. I tried to clear the obstruction. I cant  I mean I dont . . . I have to go.

I turned, but he grabbed my shoulders and spun me around.

No, wait. Iknow that, Bella. But, look, answer me this, all right? Do you want me to go away and never see you again? Be honest.

It was hard to concentrate on his question, so it took a minute to answer. No, I dont want that, I finally admitted.

Jacob grinned again. See.

But I dont want you around for the same reason that you want me around, I objected.

Tell me exactly why you want me around, then.

I thought carefully. I miss you when youre not there. When youre happy, I qualified carefully, it makes me happy. But I could say the same thing about Charlie, Jacob. Youre family. I love you, but Im notin love with you.

He nodded, unruffled. But you do want me around.

Yes. I sighed. He was impossible to discourage.

Then Ill stick around.

Youre a glutton for punishment, I grumbled.

Yep. He stroked the tips of his fingers across my right cheek. I slapped his hand away.

Do you think you could behave yourself a little better, at least? I asked, irritated.

No, I dont. You decide, Bella. You can have me the way I am  bad behavior included  or not at all.

I stared at him, frustrated. Thats mean.

So are you.

That pulled me up short, and I took an involuntary step back. He was right. If I wasnt mean  and greedy, too  I would tell him I didnt want to be friends and walk away. It was wrong to try to keep my friend when that would hurt him. I didnt know what I was doing here, but I was suddenly sure that it wasnt good.

Youre right, I whispered.

He laughed. I forgive you. Just try not to gettoo mad at me. Because I recently decided that Im not giving up. There really is something irresistible about a lost cause.

Jacob. I stared into his dark eyes, trying to make him take me seriously. I lovehim, Jacob. Hes my whole life.

You love me, too, he reminded me. He held up his hand when I started to protest. Not the same way, I know. But hes not your whole life, either. Not anymore. Maybe he was once, but he left. And now hes just going to have to deal with the consequence of that choice me. 

I shook my head. Youre impossible.

Suddenly, he was serious. He took my chin in his hand, holding it firmly so that I couldnt look away from his intent gaze.

Until your heart stops beating, Bella, he said. Ill be here  fighting. Dont forget that you have options.

I dont want options, I disagreed, trying to yank my chin free unsuccessfully. And my heartbeats are numbered, Jacob. The time is almost gone.

His eyes narrowed. All the more reason to fight  fight harder now, while I can, he whispered.

He still had my chin  his fingers holding too tight, till it hurt  and I saw the resolve form abruptly in his eyes.

N  I started to object, but it was too late.

His lips crushed mine, stopping my protest. He kissed me angrily, roughly, his other hand gripping tight around the back of my neck, making escape impossible. I shoved against his chest with all my strength, but he didnt even seem to notice. His mouth was soft, despite the anger, his lips molding to mine in a warm, unfamiliar way.

I grabbed at his face, trying to push it away, failing again. He seemed to notice this time, though, and it aggravated him. His li