s wrong? I asked, my hand on the door.

He shook his head. Nothing. His eyes were narrowed as he stared through the windshield toward the other car. Id seen that look before.

Youre notlistening to Jacob, are you? I accused.

Its not easy to ignore someone when hes shouting.

Oh. I thought about that for a second. Whats he shouting? I whispered.

Im absolutely certain hell mention it himself, Edward said in a wry tone.

I would have pressed the issue, but then Jacob honked his horn  two quick impatient honks.

Thats impolite, Edward growled.

Thats Jacob, I sighed, and I hurried out before Jacob did something to really set Edwards teeth on edge.

I waved to Edward before I got into the Rabbit and, from that distance, it looked like he was truly upset about the honking thing . . . or whatever Jacob was thinking about. But my eyes were weak and made mistakes all the time.

I wanted Edward to come to me. I wanted to make both of them get out of their cars and shake hands and be friends  be Edward and Jacob rather thanvampire andwerewolf. It was as if I had those two stubborn magnets in my hands again, and I was holding them together, trying to force nature to reverse herself. . . .

I sighed, and climbed in Jacobs car.

Hey, Bells. Jakes tone was cheerful, but his voice dragged. I examined his face as he started down the road, driving a little faster than I did, but slower than Edward, on his way back to La Push.

Jacob looked different, maybe even sick. His eyelids drooped and his face was drawn. His shaggy hair stuck out in random directions; it was almost to his chin in some places.

Are you all right, Jake?

Just tired, he managed to get out before he was overcome by a massive yawn. When he finished, he asked, What do you want to do today?

I eyed him for a moment. Lets just hang out at your place for now, I suggested. He didnt look like he was up for much more than that. We can ride our bikes later.

Sure, sure, he said, yawning again.

Jacobs house was vacant, and that felt strange. I realized I thought of Billy as a nearly permanent fixture there.

Wheres your dad?

Over at the Clearwaters. Hes been hanging out there a lot since Harry died. Sue gets lonely.

Jacob sat down on the old couch that was no bigger than a loveseat and squished himself to the side to make room for me.

Oh. Thats nice. Poor Sue.

Yeah . . . shes having some trouble. . . . He hesitated. With her kids.

Sure, its got to be hard on Seth and Leah, losing their dad. . . .

Uh-huh, he agreed, lost in thought. He picked up the remote and flipped on the TV without seeming to think about it. He yawned.

Whats with you, Jake? Youre like a zombie.

I got about two hours of sleep last night, and four the night before, he told me. He stretched his long arms slowly, and I could hear the joints crack as he flexed. He settled his left arm along the back of the sofa behind me, and slumped back to rest his head against the wall. Im exhausted.

Why arent you sleeping? I asked.

He made a face. Sams being difficult. He doesnt trust your bloodsuckers. Ive been running double shifts for two weeks and nobodys touched me yet, but he still doesnt buy it. So Im on my own for now.

Double shifts? Is this because youre trying to watch out forme? Jake, thats wrong! You need to sleep. Ill be fine.

Its no big deal. His eyes were abruptly more alert. Hey, did you ever find out who was in your room? Is there anything new?

I ignored the second question. No, we didnt find anything out about my, um, visitor.

Then Ill be around, he said as his eyes slid closed.

Jake . . . , I started to whine.

Hey, its the least I can do  I offered eternal servitude, remember. Im your slave for life.

I dont want a slave!

His eyes didnt open. Whatdo you want, Bella?

I want my friend Jacob  and I dont want him half-dead, hurting himself in some misguided attempt 

He cut me off. Look at it this way  Im hoping I can track down a vampire Im allowed to kill, okay?

I didnt answer. He looked at me then, peeking at my reaction.

Kidding, Bella.

I stared at the TV.

So, any special plans next week? Youre graduating. Wow. Thats big. His voice turned flat, and his face, already drawn, looked downright haggard as his eyes closed again  not in exhaustion this time, but in denial. I realized that graduation still had a horrible significance for him, though my intentions were now disrupted.

Nospecial plans, I said carefully, hoping he would hear the reassurance in my words without a more detailed explanation. I didnt want to get into it now. For one thing, he didnt look up for any difficult conversations. For another, I knew he would read too much into my qualms. Well, I do have to go to a graduation party. Mine. I made a disgusted sound. Aliceloves parties, and shes invited the whole town to her place the night of. Its going to be horrible.

His eyes opened as I spoke, and a relieved smile made his face look less worn. I didnt get an invitation. Im hurt, he teased.

Consider yourself invited. Its supposedlymy party, so I should be able to ask who I want.

Thanks, he said sarcastically, his eyes slipping closed once more.

I wish you would come, I said without any hope. It would be more fun. For me, I mean.

Sure, sure, he mumbled. That would be very . . . wise . . . His voice trailed off.

A few seconds later, he was snoring.

Poor Jacob. I studied his dreaming face, and liked what I saw. While he slept, every trace of defensiveness and bitterness disappeared and suddenly he was the boy who had been my very best friend before all the werewolf nonsense had gotten in the way. He looked so much younger. He looked like my Jacob.

I nestled into the couch to wait out his nap, hoping he would sleep for a while and make up some of what hed lost. I flipped through channels, but there wasnt much on. I settled for a cooking show, knowing, as I watched, that Id never put that much effort into Charlies dinner. Jacob continued to snore, getting louder. I turned up the TV.

I was strangely relaxed, almost sleepy, too. This house felt safer than my own, probably because no one had ever come looking for me here. I curled up on the sofa and thought about taking a nap myself. Maybe I would have, but Jacobs snoring was impossible to tune out. So, instead of sleeping, I let my mind wander.

Finals were done, and most of them had been a cakewalk. Calculus, the one exception, was behind me, pass or fail. My high school education was over. And I didnt really know how I felt about that. I couldnt look at it objectively, tied up as it was with my human life being over.

I wondered how long Edward planned to use this not because youre scared excuse. I was going to have to put my foot down sometime.

If I were thinking practically, I knew it made more sense to ask Carlisle to change me the second I made it through the graduation line. Forks was becoming nearly as dangerous as a war zone. No, Forkswas a war zone. Not to mention . . . it would be a good excuse to miss the graduation party. I smiled to myself as I thought of that most trivial of reasons for changing. Silly . . . yet still compelling.

But Edward was right  I wasnt quite ready yet.

And I didnt want to be practical. I wanted Edward to be the one. It wasnt a rational desire. I was sure that  about two seconds after someone actually bit me and the venom started burning through my veins  I really wouldnt care anymore who had done it. So it shouldnt make a difference.

It was hard to define, even to myself, why it mattered. There was just something about him being the one to make the choice  to want to keep me enough that he wouldnt just allow me to be changed, he would act to keep me. It was childish, but I liked the idea thathis lips would be the last good thing I would feel. Even more embarrassingly, something I would never say aloud, I wantedhis venom to poison my system. It would ma