 apparently Im doing it wrong.

I think the best place to start would be to look within your own species. That usually works.

Well, that just sucks! I snapped. I guess Im stuck with Mike Newton after all.

Jacob flinched back and bit his lip. I could see that my words had hurt him, but I was too mad to feel bad about that yet. He dropped my wrist and folded his arms across his chest, turning from me to glare toward the ocean.

Im human, he muttered, his voice almost inaudible.

Youre not as human as Mike, I continued ruthlessly. Do you still think thats the most important consideration?

Its not the same thing. Jacob didnt look away from the gray waves. I didnt choose this.

I laughed once in disbelief. Do you think Edward did? He didnt know what was happening to him any more than you did. He didnt exactly sign up for this.

Jacob was shaking his head back and forth with a small, quick movement.

You know, Jacob, youre awfully self-righteous  considering that youre a werewolf and all.

Its not the same, Jacob repeated, glowering at me.

I dont see why not. You could be abit more understanding about the Cullens. You have no idea how truly good they are  to the core, Jacob.

He frowned more deeply. They shouldnt exist. Their existence goes against nature.

I stared at him for a long moment with one eyebrow raised incredulously. It was a while before he noticed.

What?

Speaking of unnatural . . . , I hinted.

Bella, he said, his voice slow and different. Aged. I realized that he sounded suddenly older than me  like a parent or a teacher. What I am was born in me. Its a part of who I am, who my family is, who we all are as a tribe  its the reason why were still here.

Besides that  he looked down at me, his black eyes unreadable  Iam still human.

He picked up my hand and pressed it to his fever-warm chest. Through his t-shirt, I could feel the steady beating of his heart under my palm.

Normal humans cant throw motorcycles around the way you can.

He smiled a faint, half-smile. Normal humans run away from monsters, Bella. And I never claimed to be normal. Just human.

Staying angry with Jacob was too much work. I started to smile as I pulled my hand away from his chest.

You look plenty human to me, I allowed. At the moment.

I feel human. He stared past me, his face far away. His lower lip trembled, and he bit down on it hard.

Oh, Jake, I whispered, reaching for his hand.

This was why I was here. This was why I would take whatever reception waited for me when I got back. Because, underneath all the anger and the sarcasm, Jacob was in pain. Right now, it was very clear in his eyes. I didnt know how to help him, but I knew I had to try. It was more than that I owed him. It was because his pain hurt me, too. Jacob had become a part of me, and there was no changing that now.




5. IMPRINT

ARE YOU OKAY, JAKE? CHARLIE SAID YOU WERE HAVINGa hard time. . . . Isnt it getting any better?

His warm hand curled around mine. S not so bad, he said, but he wouldnt meet my eyes.

He walked slowly back to the driftwood bench, staring at the rainbow-colored pebbles, and pulling me along at his side. I sat back down on our tree, but he sat on the wet, rocky ground rather than next to me. I wondered if it was so that he could hide his face more easily. He kept my hand.

I started babbling to fill the silence. Its been so long since I was here. Ive probably missed a ton of things. How are Sam and Emily? And Embry? Did Quil ?

I broke off mid-sentence, remembering that Jacobs friend Quil had been a sensitive subject.

Ah, Quil, Jacob sighed.

So then it must have happened  Quil must have joined the pack.

Im sorry, I mumbled.

To my surprise, Jacob snorted. Dont say that tohim .

What do you mean?

Quils not looking for pity. Just the opposite  hes jazzed. Totally thrilled.

This made no sense to me. All the other wolves had been so depressed at the idea of their friend sharing their fate. Huh?

Jacob tilted his head back to look at me. He smiled and rolled his eyes.

Quil thinks its the coolest thing thats ever happened to him. Part of it is finally knowing whats going on. And hes excited to have his friends back  to be part of the in crowd. Jacob snorted again. Shouldnt be surprised, I guess. Its soQuil .

Helikes it?

Honestly . . . most of them do, Jacob admitted slowly. There are definitely good sides to this  the speed, the freedom, the strength . . . the sense of  offamily . . . . Sam and I are the only ones who ever felt really bitter. And Sam got past that a long time ago. So Im the crybaby now. Jacob laughed at himself.

There were so many things I wanted to know. Why are you and Sam different? What happened to Sam anyway? Whats his problem? The questions tumbled out without room to answer them, and Jacob laughed again.

Thats a long story.

I told you a long story. Besides, Im not in any hurry to get back, I said, and then I grimaced as I thought of the trouble I would be in.

He looked up at me swiftly, hearing the double edge in my words. Will he be mad at you?

Yes, I admitted. He really hates it when I do things he considers . . . risky.

Like hanging out with werewolves.

Yeah.

Jacob shrugged. So dont go back. Ill sleep on the couch.

Thats a great idea, I grumbled. Because then he would come looking for me.

Jacob stiffened, and then smiled bleakly. Would he?

If he was afraid I was hurt or something  probably.

My ideas sounding better all the time.

Please, Jake. That really bugs me.

What does?

That you two are so ready to kill each other! I complained. It makes me crazy. Why cant you both just be civilized?

Is he ready to kill me? Jacob asked with a grim smile, unconcerned by my anger.

Not like you seem to be! I realized I was yelling. At leasthe can be a grown-up about this. He knows that hurting you would hurt me  and so he never would. You dont seem to care about that at all!

Yeah, right, Jacob muttered. Im sure hes quite the pacifist.

Ugh! I ripped my hand out of his and shoved his head away. Then I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around them.

I glared out toward the horizon, fuming.

Jacob was quiet for a few minutes. Finally, he got up off the ground and sat beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders. I shook it off.

Sorry, he said quietly. Ill try to behave myself.

I didnt answer.

Do you still want to hear about Sam? he offered.

I shrugged.

Like I said, its a long story. And very . . . strange. Therere so many strange things about this new life. I havent had time to tell you the half of it. And this thing with Sam  well, I dont know if Ill even be able to explain it right.

His words pricked my curiosity in spite of my irritation.

Im listening, I said stiffly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the side of his face pull up in a smile.

Sam had it so much harder than the rest of us. Because he was the first, and he was alone, and he didnt have anyone to tell him what was happening. Sams grandfather died before he was born, and his father has never been around. There was no one there to recognize the signs. The first time it happened  the first time he phased  he thought hed gone insane. It took him two weeks to calm down enough to change back.

This was before you came to Forks, so you wouldnt remember. Sams mother and Leah Clearwater had the forest rangers searching for him, the police. People thought there had been an accident or something. . . .

Leah? I asked, surprised. Leah was Harrys daughter. Hearing her name sent an automatic surge of pity through me. Harry Clearwater, Charlies life-long friend, had died of a heart attack this past spring.

His voice changed, became heavier. Yeah. Leah and Sam were high school sweethearts. They started dating when she was just a freshman. She was frantic when he disappea