lk to. That I needed to talk to.

I stared at the blank black window, biting my lip. I dont know how long I stood there weighing the pros against the cons  doing the right thing by Jacob, seeing my closest friend again, being a good person, versus making Edward furious with me. Ten minutes maybe. Long enough to decide that the pros were valid while the cons were not. Edward was only concerned about my safety, and I knew that there was really no problem on that count.

The phone wasnt any help; Jacob had refused to answer my phone calls since Edwards return. Besides, I needed tosee him  see him smiling again the way he used to. I needed to replace that awful last memory of his face warped and twisted by pain if I was ever going to have any peace of mind.

I had an hour probably. I could make a quick run down to La Push and be back before Edward realized I had gone. It was past my curfew, but would Charlie really care about that when Edward wasnt involved? One way to find out.

I grabbed my jacket and shoved my arms through the sleeves as I ran down the stairs.

Charlie looked up from the game, instantly suspicious.

You care if I go see Jake tonight? I asked breathlessly. I wont stay long.

As soon as I said Jakes name, Charlies expression relaxed into a smug smile. He didnt seem surprised at all that his lecture had taken effect so quickly. Sure, kid. No problem. Stay as long as you like.

Thanks, Dad, I said as I darted out the door.

Like any fugitive, I couldnt help looking over my shoulder a few times while I jogged to my truck, but the night was so black that there really was no point. I had to feel my way along the side of the truck to the handle.

My eyes were just beginning to adjust as I shoved my keys in the ignition. I twisted them hard to the left, but instead of roaring deafeningly to life, the engine just clicked. I tried it again with the same results.

And then a small motion in my peripheral vision made me jump.

Gah! I gasped in shock when I saw that I was not alone in the cab.

Edward sat very still, a faint bright spot in the darkness, only his hands moving as he turned a mysterious black object around and around. He stared at the object as he spoke.

Alice called, he murmured.

Alice! Damn. Id forgotten to account for her in my plans. He must have her watching me.

She got nervous when your future rather abruptly disappeared five minutes ago.

My eyes, already wide with surprise, popped wider.

Because she cant see the wolves, you know, he explained in the same low murmur. Had you forgotten that? When you decide to mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear, too. You couldnt know that part, I realize that. But can you understand why that might make me a little . . . anxious? Alice saw you disappear, and she couldnt even tell if youd come home or not. Your future got lost, just like theirs.

Were not sure why this is. Some natural defense theyre born with? He spoke as if he were talking to himself now, still looking at the piece of my trucks engine as he twirled it in his hands. That doesnt seem entirely likely, since I havent had any trouble reading their thoughts. The Blacks at least. Carlisle theorizes that its because their lives are so ruled by their transformations. Its more an involuntary reaction than a decision. Utterly unpredictable, and it changes everything about them. In that instant when they shift from one form to the other, they dont really even exist. The future cant hold them. . . .

I listened to his musing in stony silence.

Ill put your car back together in time for school, in case youd like to drive yourself, he assured me after a minute.

With my lips mashed together, I retrieved my keys and stiffly climbed out of the truck.

Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. Ill understand, he whispered just before I slammed the door.

I stomped into the house, slamming that door, too.

Whats wrong? Charlie demanded from the couch.

Truck wont start, I growled.

Want me to look at it?

No. Ill try it in the morning.

Want to use my car?

I wasnt supposed to drive his police cruiser. Charlie must be really desperate to get me to La Push. Nearly as desperate as I was.

No. Im tired, I grumbled. Night.

I stamped my way up the stairs, and went straight to my window. I shoved the metal frame roughly  it crashed shut and the glass trembled.

I stared at the shivering black glass for a long moment, until it was still. Then I sighed, and opened the window as wide as it would go.




3. MOTIVES

THE SUN WAS SO DEEPLY BURIED BEHIND THE CLOUDSthat there was no way to tell if it had set or not. After the long flight  chasing the sun westward so that it seemed unmoving in the sky  it was especially disorienting; time seemed oddly variable. It took me by surprise when the forest gave way to the first buildings, signaling that we were nearly home.

Youve been very quiet, Edward observed. Did the plane make you sick?

No, Im okay.

Are you sad to leave?

More relieved than sad, I think.

He raised one eyebrow at me. I knew it was useless and  much as I hated to admit it  unnecessary to ask him to keep his eyes on the road.

Rene is so much more . . .perceptive than Charlie in some ways. It was making me jumpy.

Edward laughed. Your mother has a very interesting mind. Almost childlike, but very insightful. She sees things differently than other people.

Insightful. It was a good description of my mother  when she was paying attention. Most of the time Rene was so bewildered by her own life that she didnt notice much else. But this weekend shed been paying plenty of attention to me.

Phil was busy  the high school baseball team he coached was in the playoffs  and being alone with Edward and me had only sharpened Renes focus. As soon as the hugs and squeals of delight were out of the way, Rene began to watch. And as shed watched, her wide blue eyes had become first confused and then concerned.

This morning wed gone for a walk along the beach. She wanted to show off all the beauties of her new home, still hoping, I think, that the sun might lure me away from Forks. Shed also wanted to talk with me alone, and that was easily arranged. Edward had fabricated a term paper to give himself an excuse to stay indoors during the day.

In my head, I went through the conversation again. . . .

Rene and I ambled along the sidewalk, trying to stay in the range of the infrequent palm tree shadows. Though it was early, the heat was smothering. The air was so heavy with moisture that just breathing in and out was giving my lungs a workout.

Bella? my mother asked, looking out past the sand to the lightly crashing waves as she spoke.

What is it, Mom?

She sighed, not meeting my gaze. Im worried. . . .

Whats wrong? I asked, anxious at once. What can I do?

Its not me. She shook her head. Im worried about you . . . and Edward.

Rene finally looked at me when she said his name, her face apologetic.

Oh, I mumbled, fixing my eyes on a pair of joggers as they passed us, drenched with sweat.

You two are more serious than Id been thinking, she went on.

I frowned, quickly reviewing the last two days in my head. Edward and I had barely touched  in front of her, at least. I wondered if Rene was about to give me a lecture on responsibility, too. I didnt mind that the way I had with Charlie. It wasnt embarrassing with my mom. After all, Id been the one giving her that lecture time and time again in the last ten years.

Theres something . . . strange about the way you two are together, she murmured, her forehead creasing over her troubled eyes. The way he watches you  its so . . . protective. Like hes about to throw himself in front of a bullet to save you or something.

I laughed, though I was still not able to meet her gaze. Thats a bad thing?

No. She frowned as she struggled for the words. Its justdifferent . Hes very intense about you . . . and very careful